Hindsight

Miss Princess Kristin

Summary: The End of Days has been won, but the world has descended into a despair of a horrible future. Not badfic, but not quite goodfic. Time jumps.
Rating: R
Story Notes: This is inspired by 1984, Brave New World and A Handmaid's Tale. All excellent books.
Disclaimer: If I owned them, everyone would always be happy, and it would be a very boring show.

Chapter 1

July 2003

It ends similar to how it began. Four men watch a small blond girl through a window.

"Target located. 5'2", blond, slight. Do you want us to capture her?" whispered the tallest one into his handlink.

"Leave her. I know she looks small, but she is a lot stronger. The girl is an enemy of the state. Call for back up," muttered the voice in his earpiece.

"Yes, sir."

"Graham, bring some jelly donuts with you," commanded General Giles.

"Yes, sir."

"Aphrodite, you whore."

Graham lifted the handlink to his ear in an attempt to get better reception.

"What was that sir?" stuttered the military man.

"Nothing, just the computer, Aphrodite, was acting up again. I lost the signal on your location. Return to base and we will try again tomorrow."

Chapter 2

July 2003

Life.

Death.

Beginnings.

Endings.

Warm.

Hot.

Cold.

"How did we get here?"

"What do you mean? Physically, mentally, or spiritually?" Wes answered her obviously rhetorical question.

Buffy continued to look out the window in search of anything.

"Physically, we took a plane to Chicago from LA. We then took a bus to Hickory, Indiana. I think you know the rest," Wes continued to an oblivious audience.

She turned long enough to roll her eyes at the scruffy older man sitting on the Salvation Army couch.

She knew the routine by heart and continued, "Mentally, all of our friends are dead, except for Giles who leads the enemy,"

Wes was not content to allow her to finish out the skit and interrupted, "As for spiritually, I think we have been praying to the wrong God for all of these years.

"For a second note on physically, I know that the majority of your paramours shoot blanks, Buffy, but at your age, I believe that you should have a basic understanding of the facts of life...Really child, didn't your parents teach you anything?"

"Wesley, I believe we have discussed forbidden topics and my father was on that list."

"Lord, what are we supposed to discuss because your list of forbidden topics is longer than my dissertation. The First took the form of your father, who has been dead since your eighteenth birthday. It was not your fault. Neither of their deaths."

"And we have gone over this a million times. The First called the harbingers to kill my father in order for me to let my guard down later which I did. In doing so, I allowed them to kill Dawn, so let's just watch TV."

"Buffy, you know that there is nothing on. Satellite reception was almost completely destroyed. All we get little else other than random foreign drivel."

"I get enough foreign drivel without increasing the electricity bill."

Buffy picked up the remote and moved away from her position next to the window. She plopped into the big chair and began her nightly ritual of scanning a million channels of snow.

"Maybe we can get some annoying British guy television," snickered Buffy, "would that make you happy?"

"Happy Deer Day!" screamed the television.

Buffy immediately changed the channel

.

"Did the government really think creating new holidays would erase the destruction from humanity's thoughts? "Big Block Of Cheese Day" doesn't have the same ring as D-Day, now does it? And those costumes looked a lot better when they were worn by Packer fans, not decorated members of the military."

Chapter 3

July 2003

A brightly colored logo flashed up on the screen.

Conspiracy Theory

"They won, but did they really?" proposed the attractive anchor. The name William Fordham identified him at the bottom of the screen.

"It is awfully brave to denounce the government and announce your name in the same breath," stated Buffy in tone that Wesley would have once thought sarcastic but now just sounded defeated.

"The demon threat was banished, and life returned to normal for the survivors. With this normalcy came millions of insurance claims. From dismemberment to post traumatic stress disorder, everyone left had a claim to file. The insurance industry would have collapsed had it not been for government intervention."

His pause was drawn out, but he began again in a stronger voice.

"The government stepped in and suddenly the claims stopped. People forgot that demons ever existed. Selective memory loss permeated the nation. Life essentially returned to normal for those who were left."

"He doesn't bother to mention that only one hundred million people are left in North America or the fact that..."

"Buffy, you wanted something different now watch the BLOODY show."

"You shouldn't speak to me that way."

"And why not? Former protector of humanity is also now the censor of British slang?"

Buffy ignored him and returned to the screen.

"Mediocrity did not come without costs. Our omniscient government had introduced a hallucinogenic into the water supply that helped this new state come into being. The memory loss worked in lab rats so why not release it into the general population. Nothing can possibly go wrong with a haphazard solution to an exceptionally expensive problem. Only when large number of males began to die, did the government begin further tests. These rats were infertile, as were the majority of the survivors of the drug and the war."

"Xander died from the water," mused Wesley.

"With the ranks of humanity ravaged, all possibly fertile females were corralled into what is now been termed maternity camps. The fertile ones stayed to repopulate the earth while the infertile ones became slaves to produce food to feed the healthy ones. The only women not dragged into camps were the ones that were already pregnant."

'Tell me something that isn't my life right now,' thought the Slayer. Buffy reaches down to rub her protruding abdomen. "You saved me, little baby."

Wes cleared his throat. "I believe that I also was involved at some point."

Chapter 4

That part of the nightmare flashes into her head.

February 2003

Sometimes the remnants of the drug in her system helped. That night was only contained in her memory banks in flashes. Willow died fighting the intruders. Buffy hid, but they found her, too. They gave her a one month window to prove her worthiness of the human race.

First, the discussion.

"We have no other choice. Xander's gone. Angel as a general rule is infertile."

"Let's go."

Then, foreplay.

"I might not know the meaning of romance, and it is not plastic flowers in a broken crack pipe."

"It is not like there are a million options for flowers. I thought I might set the mood."

Mood. I don't think this is something that we need a mood for. Just a couple more shots of tequila will do the trick.

The act.

Thrust

Headboard

Grunt

Thrust

Finally, the aftermath.

And it was over. Over so quickly, the participants barely noticed. They were left to hope that it resulted in a child. The irony that this loveless mating would produce a child was not lost.

"Excuse me, the remaining vestiges of humanity that I managed to save. All I have lately is denying you your cruel reminders."

Wesley remained silent. He stared out the window at the unforgiving night.

"I am cooped up in here, waiting to give birth to your offspring so I can just do it all over again, I will not watch Men in Black to again. I saved the world how many times? And now I have to repopulate it ALL BY MYSELF."

Chapter 5

July 2003

Even watching the stupid "Big Block Of Cheese Day" parade on television couldn't drag Buffy out of her nightmare. Nothing could. It was running on a loop irregardless of being awake or asleep. Three parts. They fit together like a puzzle. Sometimes they rotated.

January 2003

The reason for the trip to LA was a cruel final manipulation of the First. Dawn was dead by the harbingers, but it was not before she destroyed the First. Her Keyness allowed her to touch the First and that touch destroyed it. Then the First's minions retaliated. Only Xander and Willow remained.

Willow walked by the smashed television and was surprised to see flashing lights and pictures.

"Uh, Buffy. The TV works again. Bad news is that it's porn,"

"Will, that is not bad news. Free porn is good news. And, um, that's not Spice Channel porn," cried Xander. Thoughts of free porn quickly left his head as he examined what was actually on the screen.

"Okay, is that Skinemax porn because those have a high unintentional comedy factor. The tall guy did not even take his pants off. That is the worst kissing that I have seen," screeched Willow trying to find the humor. She had done every spell possible to get the TV to bring any news and now they have porn.

"No, no. This is the kind of porn starring Buffy's vampire ex boyfriend and my ex girlfriend," bellowed Xander. He had been through this before and was not ready to do it again.

"Xander! How did you get that off of the computer? Do you even know how to do that?"

"Not Spike and Anya. Buffy's other vampire ex honey and my other ex girlfriend. Angel and Cordy are currently making with the naked smoochies on Buffy's formerly broken TV."

"Who's going at what on Buffy's TV because last time I checked, my baby sister smashed our TV,"

"I guess the TV's possessed, and there are pictures that you can't look at," squeaked the only person the room large enough to block the television set.

"Xand, you are not the boss of my possessed TV. Let me see it," and with that Buffy picked Xander up and moved him over a foot.

An inhumane wail came from the crumpled blond.

And from the TV:

"Buffy?"

From the house on Revello Drive:

"Buffy?" Xander dropped to the ground to hold his friend.

"In the car, now. Going to LA. Now."

No one bothered to argue with her.

Chapter 6

The dream.

It always began with the trip to LA. That is how it began. It is how it would end. The years of catching up lead to some interesting revelations.

January 2003

Buffy sat in the car while her friends broke the news of the trip. The ranks of the LA gang had dropped to Cordelia, Angel, and his son, Connor. They had died taking back LA but were successful.

The first was Cordelia's new status as a demon:

Xander jumped up from his chair at this news. "Aha! So, Cordelia's a demon. I knew it! All through high school, you were such a bitch. I knew no one could be so cruel and be entirely human."

Willow pipes in, "Now that I think about it, this makes a whole lot of sense. The kind of sense that we should of caught on to years ago." With that a mischievous smile crept across the red head's face. "So Xander, are you going to get back together with her? We all know how much you love dating those demons."

"Will, less share time, more quiet time."

Cordelia rolls her eyes. "Morons. The whole demon thing is fairly new. I did it to keep from dying. I get visions. I am a seer."

She thought that she could see everything. She never saw the destruction.

Then there was what they thought she never heard.

Xander to Angel, "The whole normal guy thing. Didn't work out for the Buffster. `Cause if it would have, I would have jumped in a long time ago, but no. She loves you. She has always loved you. And I am pretty sure that she will always love you. Leaving her didn't change that. Parker didn't change it. Riley didn't change it. Death didn't change it. You just don't get it. With 250 odd years on this planet and however many centuries in hell, you still don't get it. Buffy is not a normal girl. She will never be a normal girl. She's accepted it."

Buffy ran. She never heard his answer. She didn't want to know. The images of Angel with Cordelia will always be burned into her brain.

Chapter 7

Finally, the confrontation had the heaviest rotation.

May 2003

They had been in LA for months at this point. Willow was gone. Cordelia was gone. She had succumbed to the water like so many others. Xander had been dead for months.

"You slept with an evil soulless demon to feel. To feel what? What could you possibly feel? Nothing."

"How dare you pull the "evil soulless demon" line with me. Rail at me all you want. Shout to the heavens. So what if slept with Spike. It is no different than what you did with Darla. Hey, if I sleep with Spike, at least there is no possibility of a killer emerging."

"Any killer that would emerge would be far less of a bitch than what you are right this moment."

At the sting of his words, Buffy retaliated by punching him, and he staggered back ten feet.

"So that is how it is going to be. After what I have given up for you."

"What the hell have you ever given up for me? You left me. You got a new life, a family and a son. A SON. All I ever wanted was your child. And cruelties among all of the things that you have done to me, is that you love Cordelia. You slept with her. I saw you both. Cordelia of all people."

"You are going to have a child, Wesley's child. In what is it now, seven months? I can't. I think that the miracle child was a one shot deal. What have I given up for you? WHAT HAVE I GIVEN UP FOR YOU? MY HUMANITY. And what for? So you could sleep with my childe and then Wesley. I don't know which one is worse, Buffy. Evil demon or evil human."

"I thought that the hallucinogens had made their way out of your system, but this may be the biggest delusion you have ever fallen victim to. Angel, maybe you have forgotten, being busy with lusting after Cordelia and everything, Connor is your son and you gave up your humanity to her, a quarter of a millennium ago. There is no way that you going to lay the blame for that on me. I take the blame for a hell of a lot, but keep that one all to yourself. You are a vampire now. And obviously, a crazy one. So maybe I should stake you. Which is beginning to sound like a great idea. Best idea that I have had all week." Buffy raises a stake halfheartedly.

"All talk and no action, Buffy. Shut up and listen to me. Thanksgiving 1999"

"I remember. You stalked me. Hid in the shadows and refused to show your face."

"No, I mean in L.A."

"You killed a Mohra demon before I told you not to come back."

"That was the second time."

"No, I was just there the once."

"Let me explain. I got to relive the day. The first time the Mohra demon, his blood mixed with mine. I was human."

"I would have definitely remembered that."

"We had one day together. Doyle had a vision."

"And what was in that vision, pink elephants or green bunny rabbits?"

"Will you just listen? I went after the Mohra, and we both almost died. I went to the Oracles and they said if I were to remain human that you would die."

"See, I did die. That part is right. I think that you skipped ahead to the end of the book and are just filling in the blanks."

"Buffy, I'm serious. I did not know that. The only way that I could save you was to turn back the day."

"The part where you make decisions that affect the both of us without consulting me sounds very familiar. So maybe you read the Cliff Notes of the Buffy and Angel saga. I still don't believe you. Why would you be so cruel to make this up?"

"I think that you answered your own question. I wouldn't make this up."

"So who granted you the ESP?"

"Oracles."

"Ok, oracles. If the oracles knew I was going to die, why did they let you give up your humanity?"

"It was a test. Giving up my humanity willingly is one thing I have to do to earn my shanshu."

"Ok, what is a shanshu?" Buffy rolls her eyes, but she is looking less skeptical.

"I will live until I become human. After I complete my redemption."

"Sleeping with demons and making googly eyes at Cordelia doesn't seem to be the path to redemption."

"If you are going to make jokes, then I will just leave."

"Leave. You're great at that."

And that is how it ended.

And he did leave. Then she left.

Her mind flashes to the present.

She sees the date on the calendar: July 5, 2003.

"Happy belated Independence Day," whispered the girl that saved the world.

The government wants her child. Giles is on her trail. He knows her moves. He will catch her. Someday.