Same Difference

Dana

Summary: Wes thinks about Faith and Angel; Buffy thinks about Faith and Angel. Buffy and Wes settle for each other.
Rating: NC-17
Story Notes: This fic was written for "Buffy's Love Fest", a PWP fic event held on the Faithful Chickie's list - Thanks to my sister for the helpful comments. Timeline: Sanctuary.
Disclaimer:Belong to Fox, ME, Joss, etc.

-Wesley-

I should hate him yet I can't bring myself to do it. Instead I risk my life to save the young woman who tortured me for hours. What would she do if she were in my place? She wouldn't set her personal feelings aside for him; she would seek revenge. Does she feel as much affection for him as much as I do? No. She is incapable of feeling such emotion.

I must confess she did sound sincere as she cried in Angel's arms. It was a beautiful scene; the rain added to the mood She might have even believed that she wanted to be saved but I know better. I was her Watcher after all. We didn't get close and there were mistakes made but still there's a bond shared between a Watcher and his Slayer. I didn't want to believe that there was bad in her but I was different then. Today I'm a different man, ironically, thanks to Faith. It's funny how one can change in the course of a few hours. Yesterday morning if I was met with great peril I would have probably screamed like a woman, but not anymore. Should I hate Faith or thank her for making me a man?

Sadly, however, one thing hasn't changed; my feelings toward Angel. I was nothing before I met Angel. Actually I was something: a joke. He changed everything; he made me feel wanted. Angel thinks he and Faith are alike but it isn't true. The amount of good that is in Angel surpasses the bad that's in Faith. This goodness is what makes me believe in him; I don't think he could completely repress Faith's true nature, but if anyone could make her keep in check it's him.

-Buffy-

She's gone. I wish she would stop running away from me. I try to hate her, God, how I try to hater her. I think I even did but when she looked at me and asked how to make it better my heart melted. I remember why I believed she could be helped when she killed that man back in Sunnydale. Underneath all that darkness is Faith's soul. As long as she has her soul she can be helped. I'm angry with Angel. I know I shouldn't feel this way but I feel as if he cheated on me. Lied to me. Back when Angel pretended to be Angelus, he kissed Faith. He told me it meant nothing but I knew it wasn't true. How could anyone kiss Faith and not be affected by it? I always feared he wanted someone more worldly. If I was more like Faith would he have left me? When I saw Angel holding Faith my worst fears were confirmed. It was a real Kodak moment.

Faith and Angel are alike in so many ways. They know what's it's like to be on the brink of evil and have it swallow them whole. They both have a sincere way about them; it makes you want to believe that they're going to kick their demons' asses and do the right thing. Angel is farther on his journey but I know Faith will be at the same place one day.

I just wish it were me that held her; I should be the one. I was the one who was there first but for whatever reason she never saw me.

-Wesley-

When I get to the rooftop, all I see is Buffy. She looks as if she's in another world. "Buffy." I say without any emotion. She turns to me looking quite confused, "Buffy what happened?"

"Angel jumped on a helicopter and Faith's gone." She says this as if these things happen everyday. It was typical though. Angel being the hero; Faith being the coward. There is a moment of awkward silence until I say, "We should get inside," and that's exactly what we do.

"Maybe we should get to the police station" I say not knowing what to say. It is strange seeing this girl again. We have nothing in common and I know she used to dislike me; she didn't even respect me. I could tell she was hurt. Hurt by Angel perhaps. In a way he chose Faith by helping her. Maybe Buffy and I aren't so different after all. I do know one way we are definitely different; if I had Angel, I wouldn't have let him leave me.

We just stand there in silence staring at each other. She has really nice lips. Beautiful lips. Beautiful lips that used to kiss Angel's beautiful lips. Angel had been alive for about two hundred and forty years and this is the woman, correction, girl that captivated his soul. Is she really that good? Is she worth losing you soul? I have to know. I move in to kiss her and she doesn't back away. She just allows me to kiss her, allow my tongue to invade her mouth. She's good but I don't know if I'd give up my soul.

-Buffy-

Wow. Wesley has got some skills. I can't believe I'm making smoochies with Princess Charles. He does seem different though. Darker but he's loyal to Angel which makes him a good guy. Somehow we're on the couch now groping each other while we play tonsil hockey. I feel Wesley's growing erection through his pants. To think moments ago, I was staring at his bruises wondering where they came from. I break away from Wesley.

"How'd you get hurt?" I say needing to know.

"Faith." Wesley says this in a whisper. Another one of Faith's messes, I, of course, have to clean up.

"She hit you a couple of times?"

"More like tortured me for a couple of hours."

I feel sad for him and I think I understand where all the changes came from. His eyes are full of hurt and bitterness. Poor bastard, Faith used him to cry out for help. I want to make it better.

"I'm sorry." I say to him. I start taking off his jacket. I want to see all the scars Faith left behind. It seems like forever as I take off his jacket and then his shirt and then his undershirt. I gasp as I see all the bruises and cuts that are on his chest and arms. I put my hands on him touching all the places Faith violated. I hope these cuts and bruises heal fast.

-Wesley-

Buffy's touch is gentle. I wonder if this is how she used to touch Angel. It's strange how one Slayer can be so different from another; she seems genuinely concerned for me. She's kissing my battered body as if her kisses will have some healing effect. A few minutes go by as she kisses and licks my body; this is a kind of torture because I so very much want to start pounding in her but I fight the urge. Finally she makes her way back to my lips. She pulls away looking at me as she caresses the big bruise on the right side of my face. She kisses it before returning once again to my lips.

I grab her even closer for a more passionate kiss. I want to see her too so I pull away and begin to undress her. She lets me and when she is completely naked I kiss her. We wind up on the floor kissing and touching each other. I kiss to her neck and I notice that Angel's bite marks are still visible. I lick and nibble at her neck; I almost want to bite her and taste what Angel tasted. I work my way down her body. I stop to suck and nibble her nipple while one of my hands roughly pinches the other one; she seems to like that. I continue down further and discover her very apparent arousal. I start to work my mouth on her and am happy at the response I get. She mutters a lot of "oh God's" between her moans. As I work my tongue on her it occurs to me why Angel fell for Buffy. She really is good and like me I know she would do anything for him and has.

-Buffy- Let me repeat: Wesley has got some skills. If you told me a year ago I would lose all control to Wesley Wyndham-Pryce, I would have laughed in your face. I've never had anyone do this to me before. I wonder if Angel would have done this for me if we were together more than once.

Wesley stops what he's doing and I look down at him a little annoyed that he stopped all the wonderful things he was doing. "Are you on birth control?" Wesley asks

"Huh?"

"Well, I don't have any condoms on me and Angel doesn't. I'm clean and I know you're not the type to..."

"Oh, right." I say, "yeah I'm on the pill." A good thing I got on the pill once I started dating Riley. Oh, God, Riley. This is wrong of me; I can't believe I'm doing this to him but in a way I don't care. He had sex with Faith. True he really couldn't have known but if he looked into her eyes he would have known it wasn't me. Angel would have known.

"I want to come inside you." "Okay."

"Turn around and get on all fours." Wesley says sternly and almost coldly.

I hear him unzip his pants and he slams right into me and rubs my clit roughly. There's nothing soft about him; he slams into me fast and hard. I like it and being the Slayer I could stand it if he went harder. I've never had a lover like Wesley. Angel was sweet and gentle; Parker was also gentle but insincere; Riley touches me as if he's afraid he's going to break me. Wesley's assaults are refreshing; I wonder if he's trying to bang out all the hurt, left behind by Faith, that's inside him.

-Wesley-

She feels so wet and tight; I'm not going to last much longer. I feel her muscles tighten around me and she screams out. I come shortly after; spilling into her and in that moment I realize why Angel lost his soul. I also realize being with Buffy is the closest I will ever get to Angel

I pull out of her and pull up my pants. I start to put on my other clothes. Buffy at first just watches but then she starts to dress as well. I feel a little guilty for using her but then again she didn't seem to mind. I don't know why on earth she let me; I thought it would make me feel better, and it did for those few moments, but I still feel empty.

"We probably really should be getting to the police station." I say "Yeah, we should."

-Buffy-

It's strange we were being so intimate and now he's acting so distant. He must be a little like Faith when it comes to sex. Get done and get gone It could be just me; I seem to have a habit of men wanting to leave me after going to bed with them. We say nothing to each other as we sit in the car going to the police station. He doesn't even look at me but I glance over at him. He isn't the same man I knew in Sunnydale; this one is tougher and broken. Broken by Faith; he probably couldn't be completely fixed no matter how hard somebody tried. Next time I should make Faith clean up her mess.